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So here I am, on a Sunday afternoon, feeling a lot like there isn’t a whole lot of hope for the future right now. I’m still generally optimistic about my private practice and about teaching, but I’m having a hard time feeling motivated at the moment.

Now to be fair, this is coming after a morning in the church nursery with a bunch of rowdy preschoolers and toddlers – it’s like herding wet cats back into the bathtub. I also only got 4 hours of sleep, and those were interrupted by disturbing dreams. So, I’m legitimately tired.

However, some of the exhaustion is emotional too. Starting a private practice takes a lot of work and energy, and starting any business is a slow process. I know I need to be patient AND I want it NOW. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t do too well with ambiguity, although I’m trying. (And yes, the old saying about what comes into your life is what you need to work on very much applies here!) So, I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and not getting very far.

I’m also feeling very pressured about getting my class(es) ready for fall – I’ll be teaching at the local community colleges and one class is a brand new prep – I’ve never taught it before. It’s Developmental Psychology, and is cool stuff – but pulling together a brand new course in a little over a month is a LOT of work.

I’ve written on my professional blog about feeling emotionally paralyzed – when I feel overwhelmed, that’s what happens to me. And right now, I feel paralyzed out of my mind. I try to follow my own advice, though, and even though I’m not feeling super-confident at the moment, I’m pretty sure I’ll be feeling better in a few days. The hard thing is right now, when I’m feeling this way, I tend to get down on myself – I tend to think of all the things I’m doing wrong, or think of the “if only’s” and “what might have beens.” I feel like I can’t do anything right, or that I’ll never succeed. This isn’t true, but emotions can be a web that catches you – and sometimes it’s hard to break free. Getting judgmental of anyone – even ourselves – isn’t a helpful thing.

“Tenebrous Ennui” basically means a dark, gloomy sense of a utter weariness and discontent resulting from lack of interest or boredom. In my case, it’s not really lack of interest or boredom, but more withdrawing and avoiding. (So maybe “ennui” isn’t the best term, but the whole thing, “tenebrous ennui” sounds pretty cool.) Anway, feeling overwhelmed and gloomy is the order of the day. I know this isn’t the case, but right now my life feels empty and barren – and I know that it comes from being overwhelmed with TOO much. Life is anything BUT empty and barren.

So where do I go? I ask myself the same thing I ask my clients…”What do YOU think?” My sense is that I need to counteract the sense of fear that underlies the feeling of being overwhelmed. To do that…well, I need to take my own advice and “move” and “do one thing.”

So, for the class…I could work on putting together the schedule. For the private practice…I can finish the application I’ve got for the local community mental health agency I contacted. (Having an interview tomorrow provides some motivation – stressful, but motivation all the same.) I also need to remind myself that my situation isn’t ME – it affects me, but doesn’t define me. I exist outside these stresses, and I can still enjoy things and take care of myself. I don’t have to be judgmental and punishing with myself – in fact, it’s way better if I’m not. This is something that takes a LOT of reminding for me, though!

I have a feeling that once I’m back in the thick of it and don’t have time to ruminate and overanalyze things, I’ll be ok. Meanwhile, I don’t want to marinate in my own gloomy sauce – so I’m going to go DO something. Even if it’s only ONE thing – it’s something.

Ok – I worked my tail end off yesterday – syllabus for the class I’ll be teaching this fall (Developmental Psychology), Designing my business cards and brochures, meeting with people about office space…it was a busy, busy day. So, I’m taking a break today.

When I work with clients, I’m always encouraging people to be gentle with themselves. That doesn’t mean not being accountable for your actions, by the way – it does mean if you have to take yourself to task you can do it in a way that’s kind and gentle.

One of my friends recently about how the Golden Rule also means treating yourself the way you’d want to be treated. If you’ll notice, the Golden Rule doesn’t say, “Treat others as you treat yourself,” but rather “as you’d want to be treated.” So, why do we have so much trouble treating OURSELVES the way we’d want to be treated?

How often do we find ourselves chronically putting our needs last? Or ignoring our bodies’ needs for rest and relaxation? How often do we take care of everyone else, leaving no time to do so for ourselves? For women, especially, it’s a chronic issue.

When I work with people who chronically ignore or negate their own needs I used what I call “Healthy Selfishness.” I use this temr for a couple of reasons. One is that “selfishness” has been a label thrown at us likely since we were children, and it has such a negative connotation that reclaiming the word in a different way helps people see that it’s NOT a bad thing to take care of themselves. That’s the “Healthy” piece. It’s healthy to care for ourselves, and to let ourselves enjoy life and things we enjoy.

So, today I’m going to play. I’m getting out my kid’s easel, and we’re going to paint on the porch with bright tempera paint and great, big, chunky kids’ brushes. We’re going to splash in the wading pool, and we may go to the library as well. The point is, I’m going to let me kids teach me to play again.

Somewhere along the way to being a “responsible adult,” I lost that. I was always the “responsible child” so losing play happened pretty early for me. Today, I find myself yearning to let go, to play, to let loose – and I don’t know how. So…I’m going to the best teachers I know – my children.

I do have things I “should” do – I should work more on the development psychology class, I should work more on the paperwork for my private practice…but I also should relax, take care of myself and treat myself the way I’d want to be treated. I should also not judge myself as harshly and punitively as I do. I should treat myself gently, respectfully, and lovingly. And that means paying attention to my need to relax, play, and cut loose a little.

So, this is my attempt to work on those things. I’ll post pictures here next time of our painting adventures – all of us. 🙂

Feeling Overwhelmed - Picture copyright 2009 Laura Burlingame-Lee

Feeling Overwhelmed - Picture copyright 2009 Laura Burlingame-Lee

I recently got one of those super-uper-duper, ultra deluxe daily planners so I can organize things for my private practice. While it’s really cool for a lot of things, one of the things I like the best is this little insert card based on the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” It asks you to pick something in each of four realms and come up with things that get in the way of you doing it.

This is easy enough and I decided that I would also list what I could do to counter those things. (I’m probably using it wrong, but who cares? I’m using it and it’s helping me, right? 🙂 ) Anyway, I’ve found that a pattern has been developing. For a lot of things, fear is the reason I’m not doing whatever it is that I’m supposed to be doing. For example, in the social/emotional realm, I’ve noticed that I really don’t like making “cold calls” (calls to people I’ve never spoken to, trying to promote my business.) Now, to start a business, you really HAVE to make a number of cold calls, right?

So in thinking about what’s getting in way, fear is a big part of it. Specifically, I’m afraid of being rejected, ridiculed or hung up on. Honestly, being ridiculed is probably not going to happen – so that particular fear is a little unrealistic. However, the other two are real risks. So, in my planner, my “Do it:” activity is “Do One Thing.”

Doing one thing makes things a little easier – it makes whatever is getting in the way less threatening. If I have to only make one call, I can do other things that might make rejection easier to deal with. If I can do only one thing, it might be a “baby step” toward making the call – like looking up the phone number or contact person via the web. It might be realizing that I can send an email, and then make the call a follow-up. There are a multitude of “one thing”s I can do.

The same is true for the physical, mental/business, and spiritual realms. Often I get busy with minutiae that distract me and end up enabling the fear or lack of motivaton to do the other tasks. Again – one thing. If it’s physical, I can make sure to take a short walk – it doesn’t have to be my usual 4-5 mile trek. If it’s mental/business – another area where fear rules, because I don’t know much about business – I can read one chapter in a book devoted to running a small business. If it’s spiritual, it can be as simple as noticing the Divine in the world around me. I can see it in my children’s smiles and laughs, the blue sky and green around me (thank you for the rain!), the wonderful friendships I have and am making.

Again, doing ONE thing can help counter the problem. Lack of motivation, fear, lack of intertia – these all get in the way of us living our lives. How many times have you found yourself wishing that you could do something, but feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the task? Of how difficult it is? Or how complicated? Doing one thing – one thing each day – helps you first, break down the task into do-able chunks and second makes it less overwhelming or difficult.

My one thing lately has been MOVE! I’ve written about moving before, and moving to me means moving in all the realms – doing one thing is a form of moving. I’m not completely set up yet, but I’ve also noticed that once I do ONE thing, it’s a lot easier to do more. I usually end up doing more than one thing on my task list, but I only hold myself accountable for doing one. Anything else is a bonus, and it helps.

This is cross-posted from my professional blog, The Other Side of the Couch. I’m interested in what you all have to say, too!

I’m thinking of planning a retreat. I know, I’m probably nuts, but I figure if I need it, a lot of other people do as well. With my values being what they are, I’d love to make it free of cost, but reality dictates that I probably should charge to cover rental space, materials, food, speaker/teacher fees, etc. So, I have some questions for you all: If I were going to do this, what are the kinds of things you’d like to see? I have some ideas, too – I’d like to blend creative expression in some form with self-esteem, empowerment, relaxation, and healthy interactions.

I’m envisioning a day to start with people being able to choose/sign up for 4-5 one hour “experiences”. I would probably do a group breakfast, all together with fruit, pastries, tea/coffee, juice, along with a keynote/introductory address. Then, have people split up to do their “classes” with a 1/2 hour break in between for mingling and sharing experiences, and then wrap up with a brief talk about taking it home and living it in your life.

Here are the topics I’d like to see – PLEASE feel free to add your own! If I do this, I’d want it to appeal to as many people as possible, and would consider anything you suggest. Here’s my list:

Welcome, Introductions, and Orientation:

Workshops:
1) Setting Boundaries
2) Affirmations and Individualizing: How to honor and love yourself, and how to move away from letting others define who you are
3) Healing through Spiritual Practices: Meditation, Creative Visualizations, Ritualizing/Making the Sacred
4) Creating Balance in an Unbalanced World: Nurturing and caring for yourself while also meeting work and family obligations, realizing the importance of caring for and nurturing yourself and building it into your daily routine
5) Empowerment – Identifying and using your strengths
6) Writing Your Own Path – identifying archetypes that speak to you, and writing your own myth with you as the hero/ine.

Lunch – boxed lunches, catered; juice, water, iced tea

7) Finding Your Inner Artist – Finger painting and intuitive painting
8 ) Body Work – Intuitive Free Dancing to a variety of music
9) Body and Self-Acceptance – Learning how to “love the skin that you’re in”
10) Barriers to Achieving What You Want to Do With Your Life: Identifying what you want to do, and what the barriers to doing it are, collectively brainstorm steps to take to being overcoming these
11) Becoming the Person You Want to be: Taking stock of where you are in your life, and discovering who you want to be; celebrating the parts of you where you have reached this goal, and creating a plan to help you get to who you want to be – All Together

Wrap-Up, Thank-you’s to speakers/presenters, Evaluations and Suggestions.

I also envision having some vendors there making available relevant and inspiring products – humorous items, journals, inspirational works of art, gift baskets…I’d love to be able to offer a gift basket as a door prize/raffle/auction item. Another idea would be to have participants bring in creative pieces for a silent auction to benefit a local cause. What else can you all think of?

How does this sound to you all? Please let me know your suggestions – I’d love and would really appreciate what you’ve got to say. Thanks, so much! 🙂

I don’t know about you all, but to me the idea of a “retreat” sounds pretty wonderful right now. (A Caribbean vacation does, too – but hey, I’m trying to think realistically!). A friend of mine in Connecticut, Corinne “CoCo” Melvin is hosting a women’s retreat with the theme “Realize, Release, and ReFire” in Westport, CT. (Not to mention that face that being in CT in and of itself is a retreat for me!)

I admit it – I’m jealous! Frankly, I would love to ease back, and enjoy a retreat…I’d have hot teas (herbal, decaf, and regular), and yummy foods: fruit, cheese,crackers – and of course, chocolate! Soft relaxation music playing… I envision a group of about 20-30 women, interested in empowering themselves, living fully, and realizing the power of each other by learning about themselves and each other over the course of a day…a place where we can come together, and know that we’re not alone in all this. We are not alone – powerful words, again.

I’d have journaling workshops with all kind of creative materials, a stretching or yoga class, a meditation class, or creative visualization. I’d do a session on developing and writing your own personal myth – YOUR story, and where you want it to go, as well as do something where people could develop and create a personal symbol for them – to symbolize their growth, their self-love, and their connection to what’s important to them. I would hope to find something where people could connect with their dreams, and the person who gets lost in the day-to-day hassles of everyday living – and be able to take home that symbol as a reminder that this person is STILL there.

I would love to finish the day with a meal – literally, break bread with each other, and end with a releasing and celebration service or ritual, in the outside world…a park or yard, some outside space whereever we’d be.

As women, we often have the sense that we have to go it alone, that we have to be perfect and never show any weaknesses. We feel so isolated, even around people, because it’s so hard to let our authentic selves out. We feel vulnerable, judged, possibly rejected because we may or may not fit in, or we may not fit what we thing others want us to be. We are so alone, and lonely sometimes…I would love to have this retreat as a way to connect with each other, to say “you’re NOT alone” and “I understand”…”WE understand.” “You really CAN be who you are here, it’s ok.”

Anyway, that’s my dream retreat. I hope someday soon, I can make it happen. Until then…I’m dreaming, too – and working to make that dream a reality.

This is cross-posted from my other blog, “The Other Side of the Couch” where I discuss more psychological and professional issues.

Do you ever have times when it feels like the world is crashing down, and everybody wants everything – not just now, but yesterday-than-you-very-much? Sigh…it’s been one of those days for me. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels with trying to find work -and setting up a private practice feels like starting to climb Mt. Everest. There’s not just the therapy/psychology stuff to tie up (application for licensure, getting supervision, finding office space…) but also the business aspects, like registering a business in Colorado, figuring out what taxes and how much I’m going to have to pay, finding all the right forms, dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s. And the big thing, of course, is the money.

I’m like a lot of you – I have a lot of student loans and a credit card. My credit card, I will take full and total responsibility for – after all I decided to use it and I need to be the one to pay it. It’s that simple. My student loans…well, I wouldn’t have gotten through school without them, and I WANT to pay them off. I’m making payments now – barely – with my job as a nursery supervisor in our church. BUT – the money to start my practice has to come from somewhere, right?

I feel like I can’t apply for a loan – how am I going to say I’m going to pay it, when I’m not even sure I’m going to get clients? How do I advertise my services (groups, couples, individuals, personality disorders, DBT, etc) without spending some money somewhere on promotional materials? It feels like a catch-22, and I feel so discouraged.

If you ever looked at my professional blog, you know I advocate strongly for coping tools. So…I’m practicing what I preach. I’m telling myself that I don’t have to do it all at once, that I can get help if I need it, and somehow it will work out. I’m writing (something that helps me), journaling and soothing myself (hot cup of tea, anyone? I made a MEAN coconut chai…) I’m planning, too – I’ve got a notebook and am keeping track of everything I’ve done, people I’ve contacted, promotional ideas, and initial/start-up expenses.

In all actuality, my start-up costs are going to be pretty low for a new business – about $3000. I COULD finance that on another credit card, but I figure I”m worried enough about making payments on the one I have and on my student loans. I guess that getting a loan isn’t much different, though – I’d be making a monthly payment no matter what, right? So…I think the hardest part is getting over the fear.

And funny I should be facing this yet again…One of my favorite self-help books is called, “Feel the fear and do it anyway” (Susan Jeffers – AWESOME book). The fear is really what’s overwhelming, when I get down to it. Everything else is details, and are things I can take care of…it’s that fear – the fear of failing, of having to declare bankruptcy, of having my credit ruined (my ex-hubby did that for me before and I NEVER want to go through that again) – there are any number of things to be afraid of.

So if I were working with a client, what would I say? Probably pick one baby step, and do it. Just do it, and then deal with the fear. I’d remind myself that I really don’t have to do it all at once, and that baby steps are fine. I’d probably have myself list the tasks and then prioritize them a couple of ways -in order of easiest to accomplish, most pressing, etc. And, me being me, I’d have myself keep a record of what I did, how I felt and what I thought while doing it, and how I felt/thought after it was over. Yeah, folks, I really use this stuff myself, too 🙂

So…I guess with these things in mind, here I go…wish me well 🙂

This is also posted on “The Other Side of the Couch,” my more professionally oriented blog.

I posted a little while ago on how “fat” is not a four letter word. And yet, it comes up again and again and again – in how people have lost weight, gained weight, lost it again, gained it again, etc. Look at Oprah – how many times are we (and her) confronted with her weight? I mean, REALLY! The woman has done incredible things with her life, and has helped so many people…but what do we (and the tabloids and magazines) focus on? Whether Oprah has gained or regained weight -as if her entire identity is defined by what she looks like. Puh-LEEZE!

Nia Vardalos – the writer and star of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” has written about her journey with weight loss…yes, yet another star telling us how she did it. (http://www.usmagazine.com/news/nia-vardalos-opens-up-about-pressure-to-lose-40-pounds-2009126)  The difference? She’s REAL. She doesn’t talk about liquid diets, personal trainers, diets in general, weight loss pills or anything of the like. She talk about how diet changes and exercising more was the way she did it. Nia also mentions that people don’t want to hear that – they want the miracle cure and quick fix.

Folks, there is no magic pill or quick fix. The weight didn’t come on overnight  (although for some people it’s quicker than others – and I’ll explain that in a bit), and it’s not going to come off overnight, either. I know this from both research and experience. Yes, I’m fat. I wasn’t always fat, and I’ve both gained and lost weight in the last year.

Over the last two years, I had lost 70 lbs. I had people coming up to me all the time, asking “How did you do it?” These people wanted the same answers that people wanted from Nia – they wanted to know a diet they could do, a pill they could take, etc. I got the point where I’d say, “It’s pretty simple. It’s called the ‘Eat less, exericse more diet’ .” I’d see people’s face reflect disappointment as they’d say, “Oh. Ok.”

I wish I could say I’ve kept the weight off. Throughout my life, I’ve also dealt with a mood disorder, and have been looking for something that woud help that as well. I finally found a combination of medications that has really helped. The problem? They CAUSE weight gain. Not just “weight gain may be a side effect,” but actually, “This product usually causes weight gain in patients who use it.” I am faced with a choice of feeling decent in terms of my mood or staying thin.

You can guess which path I chose, based on the focus of this post. I’d much rather be feeling good – about myself, my world, and my future – than be skinny. This flies in the face of what a lot of women say: “I’d rather be dead than fat.” That kind of thinking really pisses me off, to be honest. So, in the 6 months that I’ve been on this medication, 30 of the 70 lbs. have come back.

Here’s the thing that’s really hard. I still eat the way I did and exercise the way I did when I lost the 70 lbs. That hasn’t changed. It’s hard to look at myself in the mirror and realize that, after all that hard work and continuing hard work, the weight is coming back. There are times, honestly, when I’ve looked at myself and cried. I really worked hard for that, and it took time.

My doctor tells me, “Well…just eat less and exercise more again.” Folks, I eat 1000 calories a day. I walk 3-4 times a week, for about 4-5 miles (at an aerobic pace.) For those people who are going to tell me, “Well, you can’t be doing all that and have weight gain,” guess what? I can and do. And it sucks, to be honest. If I cut out anymore or exercise more, I’m going to start falling into the realm of anorexia. I sometimes joke that I’d be the world’s fattest anorexic, but it’s really NOT funny. Anorexia is serious problem, and eating disorders run in my family. I’m NOT going to go down that path, simply to look thin so other people can tell me how great I look.

Frankly, I think I’m stronger and healthier than I’ve ever been. My latest blood pressure reading was 106/69. And again, for those of you who want to believe that you can’t be fat and healthy – think again. It IS possible, and I’m living proof. Am I going to give up and just go back to the way I had been before my weight loss? Hell no.

I’m going to keep doing what I did to lose the weight in the first place. If things stable out and I start losing again, great. If not…well, I’m a good person, I’m attractive the way I am (and yes, I’ve had people tell me that), and I like myself. And that’s worth more than anything any diet or weight loss pill could ever bring me.

I’m fat…and I’m smart. I’m fat…and I feel good. I’m fat…and I’m heathy (believe it or not). I’m fat …and I exercise and eat well. I’m fat…and I’m beautiful. Period.

What is “The Power of Each Other”? The power of each other is supporting one another, in tragedy and joy. The power of each other is spreading kindness, especially in a world torn by strife, polarizations, and war. It’s sharing and caring with and for each other. It’s the creative urge we all have, and the urge to reach our highest goals and be the best we can be – individually AND together. The power of each other is not letting issues, politics, religions, social status, or anything else that points out differences divide us from our common goal: creating peace and unity. The power of each other is within us, around us, and flows through us – we ARE the power of each other.

We are all in this together, and I’d like to invite you to share the poems, quotes, stories, songs, photos/pictures and humor that inspire you. Life is hard enough, especially in these tough economic times – let’s share with each otherwhat helps us. What’s going on in YOUR community? What groups exist to help each other, lift spirits, and inspire hope? What are you doing, or what do you know others are doing?

For me, I’ve posted the “Healing Prayer” from the Terma Collective: https://lauraburlingame.wordpress.com/2009/05/24/a-healing-prayer-from-the-terma-collective/ and I can post some other resources as well (for example, Google Steve Goodier and LifeSupport – a great inspirational resource).

Let’s hear from and support each other – I’ll post the resources you send me, along with your contact information if you want. Tell me what inspires you, what lifts you up, what helps YOU cope and feel better.

Let’s spread the word – get everyone you can to participate! Let’s start a “feel better” revolution and see where it takes us. I believe in the power of each other – let’s believe in each other and lift our spirits by combining our gifts and knowledge.

Take care and believe – We can do it!

Peace and Unity - Design and Image copyright 2009, Laura Burlingame-Lee

Peace and Unity - Design and Image copyright 2009, Laura Burlingame-Lee

Bury your face in some lilacs today - let go and be a kid again!

Bury your face in some lilacs today - let go and be a kid again!

Life is beautiful, wild, and unpredictable – if you let it be that way

Milkweed flowers smell very sweet

Red-wing blackbirds think they are royalty when sitting on fence posts

Even small lakes get whitecaps in the wind

You CAN get sunburned at 8:00 in the morning

People are much friendlier than I usually give them credit for being

My imagination is a wonderful thing – and great company, too!

Clouds look even whiter against a deep, cerulean blue sky

My children can be both incredibly wonderful and frustrating at the same time

Even pelicans are beautiful in the right light

Love – and loving someone with your whole heart – is an amazing thing

Nothing spoils a nature walk like seeing garbage in the grass or in the water

Ladybugs dance on yellow flowers in the sun

If you look close enough, the textures and colors around you are amazing

Moving my body helps me feel better – I feel like I “belong” outside

“White” flowers often have all the colors of the rainbow within them

When you love someone, it hurts to see them not take care of themselves

Fish swimming in a previously dead lake is a wonderful sight

Distance between people doesn’t necessarily depend on geography

Cattails make incredible music in the breeze

A clear blue sky can lift the most depressed mood

Burying your face in lilacs, roses, or other flowers makes you feel like a kid again

Robins are incredibly cocky little beasts

The mountains in Colorado are incredibly gorgeous – and I still love and miss the CT shore

The wind makes waves in the grass – it looks like an ocean of green

If you’re quiet and non-threatening, ducks won’t fly away because they’re curious about you

Frogs hang in the water when they’re resting

Life is good…

What I’ve been reading lately:

Creative Awakenings” by Sheri Gaynor, “Journal Bliss” by Violette, “Collage Journeys” by Jane Davies – all incredible books on bringing art, creativity, and awareness into our lives. GREAT food for the creative soul!

Today, I went for a walk. That might not seem like a big deal, but for me it was a change, and I’d like to share its importance with you. I moved, and that IS a big deal. I’ll explain why it’s a big deal in just a bit, so bear with me while I give you some background first.

I haven’t written in a long time, mainly because I’ve been coping with tough times of my own. As with many of you, I’ve having difficulty with employment, the economy, and finances. I’ve been looking for positions as a staff psychologist (under supervision, since I just got my degree and still have to work toward licensure), and have not been having much luck. I’m finding – as I’m sure many of you are as well – that not having a lot of  experience is a pretty strong liability in this economy. In my case, employers are looking for post-degree professional experience, and licensure.

So, I’ve been applying for positions, and waiting to hear from potential employers for about 6 months now. This has been hard for me, because I’m not usually the kind of person who sits and waits, which brings me to the purpose of this post and the next few to follow. I’m finding that if I simply sit and wait, I become depressed, anxious and frustrated – and I’m generally not a pleasant person to be around when I’m feeling this way.

So, I decided to change the way I’m looking at my situation and living my life. Here’s where coping with tough times and moving comes in. There are things I can’t control, like the economy, and the fact that many of the places where I’d love to work want psychologists who already have their licenses plus experience. There are a multitude of things I can’t control, and if I focus on them, then it’s an easy slide down to feeling depressed and anxious.

However, I CAN control myself and how I choose to react to this situation. After talking to people and experiencing unemployment myself, I know that it’s very easy to slip into feeling helpless, hopeless, and paralyzed about the future. There IS something I can do though. I can move. I can move my body, my mind, my feelings and my thoughts.

Ok, I can hear some people groaning, “Oh no…another Little Miss Sunshine who thinks that if I think good thoughts, everything good will happen to me.” So… hang in here with me. I’m NOT going to promise that if you change your thoughts you will automatically attract good things. What I AM telling you is that if you work to change the way you’re thinking, feeling and being now, you may start to feel better.

What I’m suggesting is that you move – even if it’s just getting out bed to face the day. Moving can be as simple as reframing your thoughts from “I’m never going to get a job” to “Things are tough right now. I’m doing the best I can.” Moving can be, “OK…I’m feeling pretty crummy right now and I have no money. What CAN I do to help myself feel better?” and coming up with ideas. Moving can be noticing the very little, simple things that make life worth living. For me, this is the smiles on my children’s faces and hearing their laughter. It’s feeling the sunshine on my face and noticing the colors and fragrances of the spring flowers. For others, it might be the smell of a freshly-brewed cup of coffee, or the feel of your favorite blanket wrapped around you. The point is, moving – no matter how or how much – is a change that may help you start to feel better. And that’s why my walk today was so important – I moved.

I moved my body, and while moving my body, I moved my mind. Moving my mind (thinking) helped me move my feelings. During my walk, I thought about what I have to offer – what are my skills and talents?. I thought about how to share what I know with others who might be feeling the same thing. And I felt better about myself, in spite of my job situation. In short, moving helped.

SARK has on her website (www.planetsark.com) some worksheets that come from her book “Make Your Creative Dreams Real” involving what she calls “microMOVEments.” These involve taking baby steps toward creating and realizing a dream that you have. Whether you call them baby steps, micromovements, tiny leaps of faith – it’s still movement.

The world isn’t going to change because you move, but YOU may start to  change because you move. Honestly, this post – and the idea of coping with tough times – came out of my desire to feel better. I am “moving” by writing and sharing my knowledge with you. I can’t change the world, but I can offer my skills and gifts as a way to help me feel better and to hopefully make a difference for others who feel like I’ve been feeling.

I’m going to continue to write on ways to cope in tough times. If you have suggestions on topics you’d like to see, please get in touch with me : theothersideofthecouch@live.com . I’m always interested in feedback and ideas – my idea for next week is to write about coping skills and self-soothing, but I’m willing to be flexible based on what you’d like to see. Let me know, and move with hope in your heart and life in your soul!

Reflections of Reflections…

Other Facets of the Mirror